Wednesday, May 03, 2006

The Serial Kisser

I have not seen any films starring Emraan Hashmi. or is it Imran Hashmee (pronounced EEM-RAAAN HUSH-ME).

But I have seen promos. And footage. And interviews. And I have read Page 3. And I see posters. And music videos. And once, I have even seen Emran Hashmi in his Honda Accord listening to noise canceling headphones in the front seat. (Maybe the multi-thousand rupee honda stereo system was not working.) More plausible is that perhaps he needed the music penetration straight into his ears, since his ears must have been ringing from the resounding slap he must have received from that woman who rebuffed his advancing tongue.

And so I will write about what I feel is Emran Hashmi. He is the protege of the Bhatt camp. Mukesh Bhatt. Mahesh Bhatt. Pooja Bhatt. Koi bhi Dooja Bhatt. I suppose he does films "zara bhattke"...bad joke.

His films have a heroine. Whom he kisses with unfailing regularity. Rumours abound that he pays scriptwriters, and screenplay writers, to write in "tastefully handled" kissing scenes.

His films have popular music. And he is always the hero. And always the central figure. He and Himesh Reshammiya are destiny's children. They have been given iconic status within a very short period of time.

I think that Mr Hashmi enjoys kissing women. His facial expressions are geared around looking sincere just after kissing a woman.

Mr Hashmi is getting married. I wonder if his wife will be present at the sets for future scenes. I suppose you have some kind of a guarantee of satisfactory performance when you marry Mr Hashmi. (How many women have you kissed in life: A-More than 20 B-More than 40 C-More than 100 - All of the above!)

Well, I have been invited to watch "Gangster - A Love story" - it deals with the rehabilitation of murderous mafia dons, and the exceedingly optimistic attitude of a drunk and an Indian bar room crooner.

And after Saturday, I will not be able to say that I have not seen any of Mr Hashmi's films.

Ofcourse I am hoping I forget the tickets at home, that I find traffic on the way, and that the electricity goes away for a while.




Anonymous said...

"And after Saturday, I will not be able to say that I have not seen any of Mr. Hashmi's films."

Same here unfortunately!

However, for me it was the Ms. Ranaut that drove me off to the popcorn stall over and over and over. Makes me think it was a pure case of the couch cast.


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