Saturday, March 11, 2006


And now, since we have a pandemic amongst us, no more chicken makkhanwala. No more chicken tangdi at Bade Miya.

And no more chicken tandoori in Chembur Camp. And no more Chicken Shredded Poutine (pronounced "foo-tay-ne") in Mocha's. And no more chicken steaks and no chicken legs, and no chicken mixed fried rice and no more chicken mixed steamed hakka noodles with boiled chicken and prawns and MSG sprinkled upar-se from our local Chinese thele-wala.

And goodbye to chicken desi and broiler and english by the kilo, and chicken curry, and chicken stroganoff and chicken masala and chicken burgers at Mcdonalds and no more chicken kadhai at Khyber.

And tata to Venky's Chicken-in-Minutes and Godrej Chicken, and Maggi's Chicken Clear Soup, and Knorr's Sweet Corn Chicken Soup.

And no more Chicken Luncheon Meat, and no more Chicken Loaf, and no Chicken Shashlik at Kobe's or at Yoko's.

And no more saying "Murga ban" to NCC cadets, and no more cocks on the weatherpanes, and no more squawking chickens in dirty chicken trucks and no more chickens crossing the road "simbly" or "to reach the other side" or "to cross over" or any such jokes. And no more business for Narayan Rane. No more chicken business at any rate.

And since there are no chickens, there can not be eggs too. No andelal eggathons, and no eight annas hard-boiled eggs and soft-boiled eggs, and no eggcups, and no egg-white omlettes and no sunny-side-up and no kheema ghotala and no more midnight egg-bhurji opp Dadar station and no more pudding in Kyaani's and no more egg pastries and no more "egging on" people and no more spoilt eggs.

And the goats are bleating. And the pigs are squealing. And the fish are even more slippery than ever. And the prawns and the crabs and the lobsters are biting the hand that catches them more than ever. And those who live, but for a spinal cord and a nervous system - those who grow tall and short and underground and above it will get eaten with disdain and regret.

Until a virus comes along that makes them all stars of the day. And we have to subsist on pills.



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